直播足球 > 意甲 > 国外也有段子手:葡萄牙的黄金一代!
国外也有段子手:葡萄牙的黄金一代!

国外也有段子手:葡萄牙的黄金一代!

2019-06-11 08:30 | 文章编辑:足球直播

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到本期的“国外也有段子手”!上周的国际赛场精彩看点层出不穷,葡萄牙击败荷兰,勇夺首届欧国联冠军;英格兰点球大战击败瑞士获得季军。皇马接连官宣约维奇和阿扎尔,而我国铿锵玫瑰则在女足世界杯首战不敌德国队。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们精彩吐槽吧!

首届欧国联冠军!葡萄牙1-0荷兰

pooptrooper1(未知主队球迷):C罗出生在了葡萄牙两个黄金一代的中间,但依然带领国家队两夺冠军奖杯,可谓传奇!(Ronaldo was born in between two golden generations and still managed to win 2 trophies with his country, legend.)

NeuronPrusik(未知主队球迷):不,C罗自己就是黄金一代。(No. He is the golden generation.)

SureCase(阿森纳球迷):葡萄牙也就1000来万人口,为啥能持续培养出这么多的优秀球员啊?(How does Portugal continually produce such quality players? Especially considering they only have 10m people.)

Halifax192(未知主队球迷):去年世界杯葡萄牙输给了乌拉圭,你猜猜乌拉圭的人口是多少?(They lost to Uruguay in the world cup last year. Guess how many people Uruguay has.)


Fishinbuttersauce(曼城球迷):B席这赛季已经拿了5座冠军奖杯了,而且还是曼城赛季最佳和欧国联赛事最佳球员,今年的金球奖是不是要给B席啦?(5 trophies for Bernardo Silva Ballon D'Or plz. Nations League Player of the Tournament, City Player of the Season.)

SayHelloTeaky(未知主队球迷):总担心曼城该怎么去找席尔瓦的接班人,答案就是他们找了另一个席尔瓦…(Always wondered how city would replace David Silva. They’ve even found one with the same name.)

ShutupNdSquat(曼联球迷):我相当确定,就算是让退役的范佩西和范尼上场踢球,也绝对比现在的荷兰锋线犀利多了…(Im pretty confident that a retired RVP and Van Nistelrooy can bring more to the attack than the current dutch forwards.)

Royboom(拜仁球迷):罗本还是从国家队退役太早了,不然今天也绝对是一大爆点啊!(Robben retired from the NT too early. He would have been a great addition at this point.)


屡失良机,英格兰点球胜瑞士

iChopPryde(本菲卡球迷):葡萄牙夺冠的新闻才5700评论,而英格兰勇夺第三名的新闻评论已经超过6000了…(Portugal wins thread is at 5.7k upvotes and England getting 3rd place is at 6k upvotes.)

lmh971(曼城球迷):之前那么多空门不进都是计划的一部分,目的就是为了让皮克福德去罚点球!(All those missed chances were just part of a carefully executed plan to let Pickford take a penalty.)

KingNothing666(西班牙球迷):这个时代太疯狂了,连英格兰都能赢点球大战了…(England winning on penalties. What a weird timeline.)

irishperson1(朴茨茅斯球迷):加里-内维尔解说的时候是在打飞机吗?怎么还在喘粗气…(Is Gary neville having a wank? Some heavy breathing going on.)

A_Brown_Passport(曼联球迷):英格兰的点球秘籍配方如下:50%是皮克福德的大蛋蛋,50%是索斯盖特在1996年的泪水。(ENGLAND'S PENALTY MASTERY. Ingredients: 50%: Jordan Pickford's massive cojones. 50%: Southgate's 1996 tears.)

m1207(渥太华球迷):英格兰在过去12个月里赢下点球大战的场次,比之前的20年都要多了…(England has won more penalty shootouts in in 12 months than they have in 20 years.)

开局不利,中国女足0-1德国女足

Swazzer30(曼联球迷):中国女足确实令我印象深刻,比男足起码强10倍啊!(China has really impressed me, 10 times better than the Men's team that's for sure!)

Nakedamerasian(未知主队球迷):这点其实中国和美国很像,在足球领域都是阴盛阳衰…(China is kinda like the US where the women's team seems to be much better than the men's.)

Mathmage530(未知主队球迷):你能想象这在法国的比赛,全场都是中文“加油”声吗!(Imagine a full China Jia Yo chant in France.)

Swazzer30(曼联球迷):现场的中国球迷呐喊声真是太棒了!相比之下,虽然和法国是邻国,但来现场助威的德国球迷真是太少了…(Solid vocal support from the Chinese fans in this match. Woeful support from German fans considering they're right next to France.)

Chiddie(利物浦球迷):我猜是中立球迷以及当地球迷都去支持中国队了…(I'm guessing the neutrals/locals are supporting China as well.)

CrAppyF33ling(皇马球迷):中国女足在上届世界杯就给我留下了深刻的印象,她们的门将简直就像野兽一样勇猛!可惜我忘了她是谁了...(They've impressed me the last World Cup too IIRC. They had a GK that was an absolute beast and I forgot who she is.)

doom2(中国球迷):真希望中国队再穿一次客场黑龙战袍啊!(Really wish China would wear their black away kit.)

EnanoMaldito(阿根廷球迷):那绝对是一件满分球衣!(That’s a solid 10/10 jersey.)

Riskyrofl(澳大利亚球迷):如果王霜在场上的话,那几次得分良机起码能抓一次吧…(China would surely have scored at least one of those chances if Wang Shuang was playing.)

Greflingorax(美国球迷):我很好奇在国际赛场上找裁判理论的时候,双方球员应该说哪国语言….(I always wonder what language the teams argue with the ref in for international matches like this.)

C罗戴帽,葡萄牙3-1瑞士

Scalenuts(巴萨球迷):握日,太牛逼了…(God damn what a performance.)

Cafris(马竞球迷):作为一个瑞士的马竞球迷,这让我想起了在都灵的黑暗回忆,C罗这几年简直就是我的梦魇…(As a Swiss Atleti fan this is bringing back some bad memories from Turin. Ronaldo's been haunting my dreams for years now. FML.)

The__Upvote__King(阿斯顿维拉球迷):我觉得C罗6个月大的时候就应该比32岁的我踢球都好了!(I think Ronaldo at 6 months old would genuinely be a better footballer than me at 32.)

FootyFanatik(贝西克塔斯球迷):C罗得告诉我们这永葆青春的长生不老药在哪啊,即使是现在他也比99%的球员体能要好!(Ronaldo needs to finally tell us where he's hiding the fountain of youth. He's still more athletic than 99% of players.)

MindeloFC12(未知主队球迷):C罗扛着整支球队前进,就像我背着我的LV包包一样容易。(Ronaldo carries the team just as easy as I carry my Louis Vuitton purse.)

HowardTim3zx(未知主队球迷):C罗戴帽带给我的快乐,可比买3辆法拉利强多了!(Ronaldo gives me more happiness than buying 3 Ferraris.)

iiV7One(热刺球迷):这绝对是我看过的最精彩的比赛之一!很庆幸我能生活在C罗、梅西和西索科踢球的时代!(One of the best I’ll ever see play the beautiful game. So happy I get to be alive right now to watch the Ronaldo/Messi/Sissoko era)

the_two_yutes(未知主队球迷):别激动哥们,虽然C罗和梅西都很强,但他们还是达不到和西索科并列的高度的!(Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Ronaldo and Messi are good but they’re not that good.)

斯通斯送礼,荷兰3-1英格兰

FeGodwnNiEto(未知主队球迷):英格兰都输球了,证明这肯定是一届大赛!(England can't win it so this is now confirmed as a major tournament.)

MattJamesThirtySix(切尔西球迷):第一步:发明足球;第二步:踢成一坨翔。(Step 1. Invent football. Step 2. Play shit.)

DiabolicDi(中国球迷):住口!(Stop pls…)

Bendubz11(英格兰球迷):好歹我们也打破点球魔咒了…(But hey, at least we ended the penalty curse!)

PFD-Fuhrer(丹麦球迷):避免倒在点球大战的最好方法,就是在加时赛结束前就被击败…这是英格兰足球的新境界!(You can't lose on pens if you don't make it out of extra time, this truly is a new era of English football.)

Himalayanrose(未知主队球迷):真不知道原来斯通斯是荷兰人啊!(Didn’t realize John stones was Dutch.)

CarsenAF(阿森纳球迷):斯通斯算是英格兰的穆斯塔菲吗?他到底想要干啥?(Is Stones the British Mustafi? What the actual fuck was his plan there?)

Crazytoe(英格兰球迷):踢得不错荷兰队,祝你们决赛好运吧!如果可以的话,我真的想把斯通斯和巴克利租借给葡萄牙…(GG Holland, good luck in the finals. We'd loan Stones and Barkley to Portugal for you if we could, but hope you win regardless.)

Lethorio(英格兰球迷):VAR能检查一下斯通斯真的是足球运动员吗?(Can VAR check if John Stones is a real life professional footballer?)

LocostarX(阿森纳球迷):从传跑区域来看,巴克利算是一个多动症版的扎卡吧…(Barkley is a slightly more mobile Xhaka minus his passing range.)

tachyon534(西汉姆联球迷):英格兰赢球了:我大英要勇夺世界杯!英格兰输球了:谁特么在乎这友谊赛啊!(Me when England are winning: It’s coming home. Me when England are losing: Glorified friendlies m8 who cares.)

AJMcCoy612(曼联球迷):这看起来就像是FIFA玩家在踢实况一样…(It’s like watching a FIFA player play PES.)

arsocca_account(热刺球迷):半支英格兰后防线都在曼城踢球,那他们是怎么拿到英超冠军的…(How the fuck did City win the title with half the England defense playing for them.)

顺利赢球,意大利3-0希腊

Nico777(AC米兰球迷):意大利能舒舒服服地赢球,法拉利也取得杆位…今年是哪一年啊?(Italy winning comfortably, Ferrari in pole position... What year is it?)

Thatnickyboy(那不勒斯球迷):我们这是穿越回到了2003年吗?(Did we just warp back to 2003 or something?)

相继官宣!约维奇阿扎尔加盟皇马

EnzoSoko(巴萨球迷):擦,没想到我萨买约维奇也能被逆转…(Wtf we blow up again for signing Jovic.)

HrishiRaj6(未知主队球迷):嗯…我猜为了回应皇马,巴萨应该给巴尔韦德签下终身合同,然后再正式买断凯文-博阿滕。(Hmm now i guess Barca will respond by offering Velverde lifetime contract and buying Kevin Prince Boateng permanently.)

Farcenewanker(荷兰球迷):有了巴斯克斯在右路的传中,约维奇在处子秀就能进50个球啊!(When Jovic've got the mighty Lucas Vazquez providing crosses from the right wing... he'll probably score 50 goals on his debut.)

Saharalie(未知主队球迷):首先,你得保证首发的不是本泽马…(Are you sure it is not Benzema in the start line?)

rijeka1(皇马球迷):人们还在这争论阿扎尔的转会费,好像这笔钱就是自己的钱一样…(People here are arguing about the Hazard’s price like it’s them whose getting the money)

donny126(未知主队球迷):阿扎尔这转会费价格变化的次数,比我不能满足老婆的次数还多!(Price changing more times than I’ve disappointed my wife.)

Pingreen(利物浦球迷):阿扎尔转会费变化的次数,比我离婚后看小黄片的次数还多!(Price changing more times than the amount of porn I've watched since my wife left me.)

RedGreenBoy(切尔西球迷):一看你就是没结过婚的——每个已婚男人都知道,结婚越久,你看小黄片的次数就会越多…(You’ve obviously never been married - every husband knows that porn use increases as the marriage ages.)

Judejf(曼联球迷):阿扎尔就要成为皇马最高薪了!当然比起桑切斯还是差点...(Hazard will become the highest paid player in Real Madrid. This is actually less than Alexis Sanchez earns.)

sundancerOne(未知主队球迷):不是啊,桑切斯的薪水是税前,而阿扎尔的薪水是税后!(No it's not. Sanchez wages are reported pre-tax, this is net.)

yungKookli(切尔西球迷):啊?西甲球员难道会交税吗?(Well, imagine thinking La Liga players pay taxes.)

好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了。让我们拭目以待,来看下期歪果仁们更加精彩的犀利吐槽吧!

相关新闻
最新图文
热门图集